Secrets of the Heart
by CommonFlower
Summary: CG. Small scenes from the beginning and the end. A Collection of One-Shots.
1. Scar on his palm

**The beginning**:

Their hands touched slightly as she handed him the scissors. Their movements suddenly stiff.

She felt his eyes fixed upon her. She was not afraid, no, she turned to him and looked up.  
>What she saw there, rushed over her. A man with so much depth; with so much background. No secrets.<p>

"Are we friends?" She began. The interrogative words left her mouth easily. The look in his eyes seemed to have detached something in her.

"What?" His face crumbled into lines.

"No." She corrected herself and shook her head. "Nothing." Her voice a sudden whisper.

"What do you mean, _Gillian _?" And with the way he used her first name- It did not make her feel dizzy nor let her heart race speed up, no, it made her just feel resistant.

"Friends are the parts of us that we are looking for in our reflections."

An amusing smile emerged on his face and she couldn't deny and imitate him.

What was she even talking about?

"Ouch." Their gaze broke away as the two pairs of eyes looked for the cause to his reaction. It could be found on the path of his palm.

Blood slowly crawled out of his meat, caused by the strong, sharp metal in his hand.

* * *

><p><strong>The end<strong>:

_"She believed that friends are the ones we're looking for in the mirror. But I learned through her that friends are the best parts of us. She showed me who I can be and how I should live. She has filled my life. And now I have to live without her and I do not know how to do it."_

Sometimes when he looked at the elongated scar on his palm, he believed to still feel her heartbeat there.


	2. This feeling

**Set after Killer-App**:

When she stepped off the train, he was there. He waited, a "Coffee to go" in his hand.

"Gill." He greeted her. Her eyebrows reflected her surprise.  
>"What are you doing here?" She asked, more herself than him. Her eyes searched through the full train shed. Surprised if here waited a crime scene, a new case for her. But everything seemed normal.<br>He looked at her as if he would be just as surprised as her by his actions. He waved the coffee into her direction again and she finally took it gratefully.

* * *

><p>On their way to the office she felt a sensual feeling spread through her.<p>

Her hand went on the run after his, when she finally grabbed it, she felt his cold skin against hers. Normally he didn't seem to mind the cold winter air, it made her wonder if something was wrong with him. Gillian looked at him expectantly. Her eyes almost screamed that he should answer her question.

But when they both made contact, he just raised his eyebrows in a silent request. She understood, signaled with a squeeze of his hand, that she would wait for his words.

And somehow that feeling in her screamed that it was okay, for that moment, it was enough. It was anything but indifferent. That he was there. With her. It was all that count.

For the rest of the way a small smile was distinguished on her face. Yes, it seemed normal, everything felt normal to her. It felt good. And she was sure whatever it was Cal had on his mind, it would make her feel even better.

She believed that this sudden contentment and normalcy belonged to her. She breathed in the icy air that burned so deeply in her lung- all the fires in her body blown off by it.

Yes, she planned on exhausting this beautiful feeling until the last drop of potential.

* * *

><p>Shortly before they reached the front door to their everyday life, his murmur reached her ears.<p>

"I want us to never end."


	3. Cold

**Possible Scene before the start of the Series.**

„Don't. Just leave me alone."

He had made himself comfortable on the bed, his blanket was his protection. It covered his body up to his eyes. His back was turned to the window. He didn't want to perceive the few rays of sun that shone through the curtains.

He wanted the time to slide. Out of hours should be made days, out of days should be made weeks and more. Then all that pain in his chest would be extinguished – Then he would only have to live for himself. He would just have to breathe, because feeling and his will power would lose its strength with the time. Everything would just mean nothing; it would appear to him neglectful. He had experience and knowledge all over how it went.

But Gillian was standing in front of his bed and trying to block his way. A worried look accompanied her figure. "Let me help you."

"Go away." He felt her move towards him and the bed. He pulled the end of the blanket closer to him, clung firmly to it.

"I won't go away, Cal." With those words she finally climbed over him and sat down next to his body bag.

The heat from the blanket and Gillian's body temperature were within a few seconds too much. He moved abruptly away, struggling with the sheets, to get out of bed as soon as possible. Her arms suddenly embraced him. He pushed against them, but her grip was firm.

She had to go away! One more try- But she didn't gave up. He didn't want that, it was the last thing he wanted. The absolute last thing he wanted. To feel her love, her comfort.

It would constrict and crush him.

His heart began, with the rising panic in him, to step up the pace.

If she couldn't help him; he would have a good reason to give up forever and to not look up again.


	4. Daily grind

**Set in Season 1**

"You look nice."

"Thank you." A slight smile on her lips made him realize that she cherished his words. Her hand went over her skin, soft strokes so that the colored fluid distributed. It then collects and collaborate with her pores.

He stepped behind her and suddenly wished that he could bring more inches between their bodies- but there was a lack of space in the bathroom. Her smell, which was now creeping into his nose, was to him just a daily fragrance, it had lost its appeal. Was just a constant reminder that he was bound to her.

Alec looked into the mirror, his eyes didn't fell on her face but controlled his own look.

"You look good." She confirmed and reassured him with one glimpse. He nodded and stepped aside.  
>"Are you done?" He asked.<p>

While Gillian was always punctual- the time she spent in the bathroom sometimes was less than alright for him. Over the years, it grew annoying for him, a grueling game. At the beginning of their relationship he had loved to watch it. To examine how the tasks lead to emphasize the best features of her. Now it was an everyday routine.

Sometimes he wished to just get out- on an undetermined date, not to have to wait for her. Not to be connected to someone.  
>But in truth he rarely asked her to hurry up in the bathroom. Discussions between them were rare. Sometimes he believed that they were too much of the same nature to have a potentially strong relationship. A relationship which was based on more than the small chemical reaction in their bodies which people called "love".<p>

Already after these few years of marriage, he began to doubt that mutual understanding and love were enough for a long path together.

"I still need a little time." She asked him. He was nodding again and already on his way out of the bathroom. His steps took him into the kitchen; a design fault of the architect. He still believed that it would have been more practical to attach the bathroom to the living room or bedroom. But back then Gillian had convinced him that it was something special. Their own kind of special. A laugh for just the two of them; Ah joke that was worn off by the years.

His thoughts stuck to Gillian, he sat down on the couch in the living room and waited for her. She seemed to look forward to this evening. A Christmas party at her company. Yes, he did admit that he did not begrudge her therefor that she was happy where she was. She seemed to have found there her compensation to his daily grind.  
>He had sensed for himself that Cal Lightman did challenge and offered her the variety that failed between them.<p>

Yes, and even sometimes in silence of the night, when he sat alone in the kitchen and his thoughts would not let him rest, he believed that his marriage with Gillian would not hold on long enough.

Soon they would succumb to the grind.


	5. Under my skin

Was it? He stopped abruptly and looked out a second time through the glassy door. No, really it was. It was indeed so. He blinked again to make sure that he wasn't imagining this.

But, no, there was Gillian Foster standing outside in the winter air, just in a _bloody_ T-shirt.  
>White snowflakes slowly lay down on her skin.<p>

He opened the door cautious; but his steps out on the balcony were as heavy as the cold that welcomed him. "Aren't you a bit freezing?"  
>Gillian turned towards him and smiled when she saw him. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"<br>"My God, it's cold. And that was a deflection." He muttered as he stood next to her. Trying to look as interested, over at the rooftops of the other buildings, as Gillian.  
>She ignored his statement and then looked up into the sky, closing her eyes after a few moments.<p>

Cal took the opportunity to capture her undisturbed. His eyes slid slowly over her now pale skin; her face, her neck, the curve of her upper body down to the bottom. Heat filled his body. Unconsciously, he licked his lips. When the snowflakes began to slide down her face Gillian opened her eyes again, a slight sigh escaping her throat.

"Come here." He gently asked her finally.

Gillian raised her eyebrows in surprise but also questioningly at him. When she stepped towards him, he put an arm around her shoulder. "Seeing as I'm still hot and you're about to freeze." He clarified. Gillian's arm found it's way around his waist. Cal tried not to gulp for air.

"Mh, you really are warm." She stated after a few seconds leaning against him. Slowly she rested her head against his shoulder; trying to find even more comfort in him. And for several long moments they stood there. His fingers sliding slowly over her cold upper arm; trying to memorize the feeling of her under his skin. Trying to understand what it did to him.

"And what makes you happy, Cal?"  
>"Being here." He firmly establish for both of them.<p>

* * *

><p>A big thank you to my muse. This is for <em>art feeds dream<em>s and her. I hope you maybe can make something out of this.


	6. Hidden meaning

_"What's your excuse with me then, eh, darling?"_

As we sit there, I don't quite know how I can turn her thoughts around. So instead I am doing what I always do, trying to help a little with my affection. My arm is around her shoulder and I'm thinking about a lot of things at this moment.

I can hear Gillian breath in and exhale, and however I feel plainly her heat overcoming me.

A few more eternal, somehow so enjoyable, seconds pass by and I do know as much as I would like this to last, that life goes on. I turn my head to her and without hesitation my lips caress her cheek, before I fully redeem my posture from her. Her eyes find mine and she smiles briefly.

"You're alright." Is what I tell her, and she nods.

I swing myself off the couch in my inelegant way and turn myself into her direction again.

"I think…" I start slow, "I have a plan. You know. He should get what he wants."

Because suddenly it all makes sense in my head. All I want to do is to give Gillian the rest that Claire's death was not entirely in vain. In a few seconds everything was in settled in my head and it overcomes me. I turn around, determined to rob Zack his last thoughts. The small piece of peace which had spread its way inside me in the last hours still radiates, but this last goal is in front of my eyes. Yes, I can feel it burn in my soul now.

"I'm off, to give this bad guy his final, and all. You okay, being alone, I mean?"  
>"Sure... Thank you. Cal." And I can hear the sincerity in her voice, and I can read it in her eyes when I dare to look.<p>

"Yeah." Is all that I'm able to say. But I will find out at the end of the day that it sometimes means so much more.

* * *

><p><em>This is by far not as good as other stories, but it just was in my head, I needed something to happen after that Scene. I hope this piece can fill, maybe also for you, in the gaps.<em>


	7. Sidetracked

"So, you already taken tonight?" His arm came up around her shoulder as they both walked along the street towards Cal's car. The air was without any light, a few trees decorated the cement at the ground. It was actually looking really nice in this part of the town, Gillian thought. A bag of food was swinging around at her hand, the smell of it had made her stomach quirl with hunger. And then there was Cal's voice next to her ear, the warm breath of his on her skin. His voice that had a dangerous pitch in it let Gillian sigh. She wondered if he even was serious when he talked to her like this.

"I'm going to take this home with me." She indicated to the food that "Teddy" had given to them as they had left the barbecue restaurant where the young woman, Kira, had been shot down. She was the daughter of his best friend, the owner of the resteraunt. The man sadly was given his last days, as cancer had taken over his body.

"Count in two plates then, yeah?"

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN**: Just a really short alternative scene to the Episode "Smoked", would have liked to see something like this. Have all a good Sunday!_


End file.
